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Zicam tasting party (berry, berry disappointing)

You heard it here first: miracle fruit is an urban myth devised by the communist rebels of Congo to topple the US sugar industry .

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OK, so there might be mitigating circumstances. I am coming off a minor head cold and have been attacking my taste buds with Zicam all week, which is an enormously disgusting substance. Aside from being only marginally more effective than snake oil, the makers of Zicam have also been sued (and have since settled out of court) for affecting the sense of smell and taste. So, there is a good chance my experience was compromised.

Lemons tasted like lemons. Guinness tasted like Guinness. Grapes tasted like grapes. Ketchup tasted like ketchup. Cranberry juice was more sweet, than tart. Red wine vinegar was still quite acidic, but had a lingering sweet finish. My Tabasco soaked wedge of melon was just gross (I was going for the flavor of chocolate smores with that one).

I couldn’t tell if it worked for most people, because I believe the concept of wisdom of crowds is an urban myth, too. Crowds are no wiser than your average sheeple. A few people were really excited that beer that tasted like chocolate, but it was a chocolate ale they were drinking. I saw a group trying to polish off an entire bottle of cheap tequila, which was supposed to taste like Patron, though I am pretty sure they were more interested in a cheap buzz (nothing wrong with that, btw). I saw a few of them walking away saying “that stuff does not taste smooth”.

People who’s palates I do trust seemed nonplussed by the whole thing. Jay Francis was handing out his own personal supply of some supplement that kills your ability to taste sweet, like some drug dealer at a rave, which might have been the most amusing part of the night.

Oh and the anonymous eater guy told some couple to go to Dolce Vita as they were entering La Strada. Changing the world one dining experience at a time. Much respect.

One thing I did learn is that Jenny is an absolute force of nature. If I owned a restaurant, I’d put her in charge of PR, kick back and collect the benjamins. Some 100+ people showed up for the party, which seems like a staggering number for an event like this.  Berry, berry impressive.

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